Being a parent involves an intense emotional journey here’s why. People react to what happens around them. We perceive through what we hear, smell, see, taste, or touch. Our senses are always on alert to send us signals when something isn’t right. Think about how you would feel if you were walking down a lonely street and heard footsteps behind you getting closer and closer. Little by little, your senses and past experiences create a context for what you are living. When those footsteps get even closer and the person touches your shoulder, your heart is already racing, and your emotions start sending you messages about what is happening. In this situation, people usually have two options: run or fight. What would you do? Either choice would be a normal reaction, driven by external information that triggered physiological changes in your body and motivated you to act in some way. Emotions are reactions that are triggered in response to a stimulus, event, or situation and lead to action. There are as many emotions as there are colors. The most common ones are fear, joy, anger, surprise, sadness, and disgust. We call these basic emotions, and they are represented with the same facial expressions all over the world. Something very important to remember is that emotions are fleeting; they last only a few seconds. Once you feel them, you can’t avoid them. They are messengers each emotion shows up to tell you something is happening, something that requires your attention. Understanding emotions isn’t easy especially if you are 3, 4, or 5 years old and your brain is still developing. To be able to control emotions and to avoid situations like the one we mentioned earlier it’s important to first control our actions. This only becomes possible when the prefrontal cortex in our brain is fully developed and that doesn’t happen until we are about 25 or 30 years old! Now you can see why your children need you, your mature prefrontal cortex to help them understand what they are feeling, what the emotion is called, what happens when they cross a limit, or how to solve a problem. When it comes to emotions in the family, adults must first understand how to regulate their own emotions before helping their children. Here is a simple process you can follow when a situation starts to overwhelm you: Stop! Whatever is happening, pause and focus on your breathing. Identify where you feel it. Let the emotion show itself and notice where in your body you feel it. Name it and receive its message.Name what you’re feeling based on what you know or have experienced before. Then, discover the message this emotion has for you in the context of what is happening. Transform it. If what you feel is heavy or unpleasant, try to transform it into something more positive for yourself and those around you. These four steps can help you manage the overwhelming emotions you may be feeling. Remember: all emotions are valid there are no “good” or “bad” emotions, only some that feel pleasant and others that feel unpleasant.
