Positive discipline techniques for children aged 3 to 5

Our teaching and learning process is all about helping students become confident, happy and curious, ready for the next stages of life.

“If you don’t pick up your toys, I’ll throw them away.” “If you don’t brush your teeth, no TV.” “If you keep fighting, I’ll punish you both.” Have you found yourself in any of these situations? How often does it happen? Do you think you could do things differently?

As parents, it’s common to say these phrases to get our children to do what we ask. But it’s harder to follow instructions if we don’t know why we’re being asked or what the point is.

In these moments, what works best is to be disruptive. Being disruptive means doing things differently, finding ways to help our children understand what they need to do, what’s not okay and how to learn in the best way. In short, it’s a lot like positive discipline.

To understand this, let’s talk about positivity. Have you ever met someone with a positive outlook on life? What’s their mood like? How do they relate to others? What phrases do they use?

When we’re around positive people, their presence makes us feel good. We’re talking about people with realistic positive thinking – they know bad times are temporary, failure is just a hurdle, not the end, they don’t generalise, they bounce back quickly and build better relationships.

Extreme positivity is different. These people don’t weigh risks, think everything will work out and just wait for things to happen. Their thinking is rigid and they take little responsibility for what’s going on.

Back to positive parenting – it’s about noticing what your child achieves and what interests them, and using that to help them grow.

In other words, this approach means being respectful, motivating, genuinely interested, gentle and focused on life skills. The goal is to make sure what children learn now has a long-term impact, so they grow up respectful, solve problems efficiently and build strong relationships.

If you’ve decided to use positive discipline with your child, keep these techniques in mind:

Connect before you correct. We all feel better when we’re heard, validated and understood. Listen first, validate what your child feels, then help them understand the situation.

Be firm but kind. Say what needs to be said, using the right words. You don’t have to choose between the two.

Focus on solutions, not consequences. Punishments usually create unpleasant feelings. Show that even in tough times, there are good options that build responsibility and resilience.

Let them make their own decisions. Give them space to choose. Guide them towards what’s best for their growth, so they build self-confidence – key for their age. If they make a mistake, help them face the consequences.

Teach by example. We learn more from what others do than what they say. It’s the same with your child – they’re watching everything you do and say. Help them by being a role model. Remember, what you do matters more than what you say.

Positive discipline is proven to work. It’s about inviting parents to treat their children with love and respect, without losing the authority needed to guide them. That doesn’t mean if you already treat your child with love, you’re using this approach, or that other parenting styles aren’t valid. The more informed we are, the better we can choose the style that fits us as responsible adults and works best for our children. That’s the approach you should follow.

The education your child receives with us is built on curiosity, collaboration and problem-solving. From the earliest years, we help students grow self-esteem, independence, creativity and emotional self-regulation, together with families.

Our teaching and learning process is all about helping students become confident, happy and curious, ready for the next stages of life and school. All this happens in a community that nurtures values, empathy and a global mindset.